Strong is the New Skinny: Loving Your Body into Health and Resilience
For high-achieving women, the body is often viewed as a major project to be perfected. But your body is not a project; it is the sacred home for your soul and the resilient vehicle that allows you to enjoy life.
True progress is measured not by what your body looks like, but by all the wonderful things it allows you to do: crush your goals, love and serve your family and community, and savor the simple pleasures of life. The new focus is on how it feels to be in your body—improving the sensory quality of your experiences, like feeling the sand on the beach, the cool water of the ocean, or the rush of climbing to the peak for sunrise.
This guide dives into the essence of Week 7’s challenge: Improving Self-Image and Body Composition by shifting your focus from external comparison to internal reverence and resilience.
The Social Trap: How Comparison Steals Your Joy
Today, self-worth is often dangerously attached to appearance, exacerbated by media that constantly pressures women with unrealistic beauty standards and diet culture.
Historical Roots: The pressure isn't new; historically, a woman's appearance and manners often dictated her social and economic survival.
Modern Exaggeration: Now, media and social platforms amplify these pressures, emphasizing highlights, not lowlights. Photo and video editing create seemingly flawless bodies and perfect lives, leading to unrealistic expectations and feelings of isolation in personal struggles.
This relentless comparison easily leads to low self-esteem, poor self-image, and mental health challenges like eating disorders.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” –US President Theodore Roosevelt
The Cost of Self-Judgment: Mental and Physical Health Issues
Your internal dialogue about your body has a direct, measurable impact on your physical health. Self-judgment and negativity towards self, slow growth in both the short and long term.
Self-Judgment Causes Physical Damage:
Cortisol Release: Stress and negativity towards your appearance trigger the release of the stress hormone cortisol.
Impeded Progress: High cortisol levels make it harder for your body to lose weight and maintain objectives, meaning the more stress you place on losing weight, the more that stress works against your objective.
The Vicious Cycle: Low self-esteem and internal frustration can unconsciously leak out as anger or annoyance in relationships, creating emotional distance from your biggest cheerleaders and increasing isolation.
The Core Idea: We can’t hate ourselves into the version of ourselves we can love. The goal must be to love your body into health, not the other way around.
The Fix: Mindset, Movement, and Self-Love
Lasting improvement requires a three-pronged approach: Mindset, Self-Love, and Lifestyle Changes.
1. Mindset Shift: Focus on Ability, Not Aesthetics
Instead of focusing on the number on the scale, aim to improve physical ability.
Practice Gratitude: Focus on appreciating your body for being able to carry you up a trail, climb the stairs, do a pushup, or accomplish your daily tasks.
Celebrate Small Wins: Cheer yourself along on the harder days and celebrate along the way. This builds gratitude for your physical abilities beyond the initial look.
Compassionate Body Scan: Try a compassionate body scan, guiding yourself to appreciate what each part of your body does for you.
2. The Power of Self-Love
Increasing self-love improves your self-worth and self-image and combats the power of media comparison.
Inward Kindness: Direct kindness inward through words of encouragement, hopeful phrases, and forgiveness to increase positive feedback loops.
Value the Inner Self: Look beyond what the eyes see and value your strengths, skills, character traits, and personality.
Practice Affirmations: Take the time to make time for self-care and practice positive affirmations in the mirror regularly.
3. Lifestyle Changes: Movement as a Declaration of Self-Respect
To make lasting improvement, you must make a lifestyle change that includes action to build and maintain healthy body composition.
Your Challenge: Add a simple body-weight strength exercise to your routine three times this week. Think 10 squats, 10 wall push-ups, or holding a 30-second plank.
Why Strength Matters (Science): Muscle mass is one of the single most important factors for long-term health. When you engage in strength training, your muscles release myokines—signaling proteins that communicate with your brain, improving cognitive function and regulating inflammation. It is about mobility and independence as you age.
Change Your Environment: To maintain habits, put yourself in the right environment with the right tools. If you want to be more physically active, surround yourself with the kind of people you want to become more like.
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” –motivational speaker Jim RohnMind-Body Connection: Each repetition of a strength exercise is a declaration of self-respect. You are honoring your body's strength and capacity, building internal resilience—a physical reminder that you are strong enough to carry your life and your emotions.
Important Note: While measurements like BMI, weight, and blood tests can be beneficial to track progress, remember they don't give a 100% accurate picture of you. If mental health challenges like depression and anxiety make these changes difficult, seek additional help from therapists and personal trainers.
Your Next Step: Making Self-Respect the Default Habit
The challenge to improve your body composition is fundamentally a challenge to increase your self-respect and build internal resilience. These physical acts of honoring your body are powerful Soul Work. However, if years of comparison, low self-esteem, or internal stress (cortisol) have made it impossible to love your body into health, know that you don't have to navigate this alone. As a therapist, I can help you dismantle the self-judgment and negative feedback loops that sabotage your efforts. Whether through individual therapy to shift your mindset and self-worth or utilizing the movement and mindfulness of the ZenHikr Challenge to process the emotions trapped in your body, my goal is to help you build the strength—both physical and emotional—to carry your life and your joy.
